So you are probably looking at the title of this post and wondering “what in the world is she talking about’? Simple when I try to become friends with someone, I feel like I am going on a date. Sometimes depending on the situation and who the person is I feel like I am either speed dating, or that I am actually preparing myself for a long-term relationship.
From my own personal experience, I feel that I can become friends with guys a lot easier than I can with women. I feel this way because, well I am just not your typical woman stereotype, I am not by any means a girly girl. So I tend to fit right in with the guys, and considering I was a tomboy for most of my upbringing I am more inclined to speak with a guy first than a woman.
Here is the thing I don’t like wearing make up, I really find it that I am pretty lazy when it comes to make up removal. So if I sleep with it on I will just get acne, more work and well you get the picture. Not saying I don’t like it at all but if I do wear any I wear it very light, I don’t get my nails done because the minute they are painted I have to clean poop off my 11 month old, and well there goes the paint I just spent $30 dollars on. I hardly wear dresses, they are uncomfortable for me and quite frankly I like to sit indian style most of the time, or wear my sweatpants. I spend about 5 hours a day on the floor picking up toys or playing with my kids, so I really don’t have a sense of fashion. My favorite shoes are converse, I don’t do high heels they give me blisters, and I rather avoid pain for a couple just to impress. Now I am not knocking any women out there that like these things, props to you!!
So these are a few reasons why I mix well with the guys, I love playing video games, talking about sports, racing cars etc. My best friend is my high school friend and he is a guy, when I married my husband I told him, and he was a little taken back from it but even they became friends. Now I know some of you are thinking, she is married how can she possibly hold a friendship with the opposite sex while it not leading into anything. It is possible its what you make of it, if you start speaking to a guy because you feel attracted to him chances are you are and that will only lead to you cheating down the road. I would never speak to a guy without my husband being present so our friends are mutual friends.
With guys you can usually speed date, you can find everything about them in just a couple hours, you find common similarities, and boom your like “man I could hang with this person and have a chill time” Then you try to make that same connection with their spouse, and its like someone took you to a date you didn’t want to go on. She is into everything I am not and while I am trying to find common ground I have passed the speed dating phase to it might be a couple of months until I can actually find out who you are. I am not saying that this is true in all cases, but I find it hard to find mommy friends for myself. I have realized I have a lot of acquaintances, but not a lot of women I can count on or talk to.
My own personal experiences have been that as women, we are quick to judge, we like drama, we think our kids are better than the other persons kids, we feel the need to express how perfect our marriages and children are, or we just don’t care altogether. So if you want long-term friendships to think about these things, let’s be less judgmental and realize that as women and mothers we are all going through the same thing just in different ways.