There’s no job on earth quite like it. It’s full-on, 24/7 and there’s no training. Being a parent is both the most challenging and the most rewarding thing most of us undertake, and it’s very hard to be prepared for something so life changing. You get thrown in at the deep end, and the mixture of responsibility and love you’ll feel can be quite overwhelming. Through moments of despair, of joy, and of deep contentment like you’ve never known, it’s usual to question if you’re doing it all right (hint: you are!). You’re not alone. Whatever you’re going through, it’s a dead cert that other Moms will have felt the same during their own journeys.
Your Best Is Good Enough
There is a peculiar kind of torture that new moms tend to put themselves through – and that is striving for an imaginary version of perfection. Whether it’s only feeding our kids homemade organic foods, or finding the ideal routine and sleeping pattern for them, we cling onto a vision of ‘perfection’ that can often make us feel like a failure. So let go of that right now. Perfect isn’t possible, and even those ‘have it all’ moms you see looking immaculate with their brood of children don’t have it all figured out (it’s a dead cert that they were picking mashed up cookies out of their hair five minutes earlier!). Be kind to yourself, stay healthy and accept that your best and your love is all that little one really needs.
Every Baby is Different
We bring wonderful little individuals into the world, and every baby will act differently, have different preferences and be completely different to parent. What worked for one child doesn’t always work for another! Just because your friend used a white noise machine to get her baby to sleep through the night doesn’t mean it will work for you and your child. Everything about parenting is a personal choice – whether it’s deciding to attachment parent or not or choosing cloth vs disposable diapers (read about the battle here) you need to do what is right for you and the baby – and that won’t necessarily be what’s right for other people. Trust yourself a little more to make the right choices. It’s a process of getting to know this new little person and who they are.
There Will Be Low Moments….
Expect a few tears on a regular basis in the first few months. In no way does this make you a bad mom or invalidate the joy you have in your child. Mama, you’ve been through a lot. Giving birth is a major thing, and the body needs to recover right at the time when you aren’t getting any sleep and are trying to get to grips with the overwhelming love you’re feeling. It’s perfectly okay to be a wailing mess at least once a day. Hormones are a crazy thing, and you’re right in the middle of the biggest challenge you’ve likely ever faced.
…And moments of sheer joy
The utter bliss of gazing down into the wide eyes of your baby is beyond description. Falling asleep together in the afternoon on an easy chair listening to the sound of their gentle breathing is exquisite. This is a love overload, and there will be plenty of moments when your heart feels like it will burst. You may find a deep satisfaction in being a mom that you didn’t expect to feel. The utter trust that your little human places in you will make your heart soar to heights you may not have imagined. Treasure these moments. They will get you through when baby has been sick seven times during the night and you feel like you may be going insane.
It goes by quicker than you think
There are definitely times, usually around 3am when you’ve had another broken night, that having a newborn feels endless. But there’s nothing like bringing another life into the world to make yours accelerate. In a heartbeat, that tiny baby will be a robust toddler battling with you over whether to wear their shoes or not. So you have to enjoy every stage. Watching your kids grow and learn and reveal their little personalities is fascinating. Sometimes you are at the end of your tether from caring so much, but try to keep in mind there will be a day when they don’t want to be picked up by you, when they don’t need you for every little thing. Time is fleeting, so make the most of your incredible bond in the here and now.